When I saw that there was a 420 essay contest I was immediately stoked and began planning how to tell my first time experience. But then I got high. So friggin' high. I stopped by my local dispensary for some delicious nugs and was greeted by a gorgeous bud tender at a table. She was giving free dabs and medicated chai tea. I had never smoked dabs before and didn't know what to expect. Lord have mercy, it was smooth and delicious and the tea was creamy with a hint of pumpkin spice. Two minutes later I'm standing at the counter in a daze attempting to figure out how many grams I could get for $60 at $10 a gram. It was rocket science, let me tell you. But I digress. Let me take you way back...all the way to 1992, The day I first got high.

  3a.m. on a Thursday and I was two hours from finishing my shift on the overnight stock crew at a local central Florida grocery store. (Winn Dixie) My manager comes down my aisle and asks if I'd help him finish his aisle he's have a surprise for me after work. This was no issue and we walked out to his Honda CRX after work. He pops open his ashtray and presents a joint the size of Andrea the Giant's pinky finger. We proceed to drive to where I am staying while smoking this hog's leg. Now that I'm remembering that he wasn't puffing on it. I didn't live far away so we circled my block several times till I was done and he dropped me off. As he drove away it hit me. It hit me so hard. I was high AF and was alone. 

  I was staying behind my buddies house in a 9x10 utility shed. Inside was a fan, bed and stereo. I couldn't figure how to turn on the stereo so I just sat there staring at my headboard, which was made of a red velour. I now began to see little people in the shadows and swirls of the headboard's fabric. The little people began fucking each other in all possible positions. Dozens of writhing, grunting and sweating little people getting it on amongst themselves. I was in absolute amazement...I never thought this is what Marijuana did to you. 

  Fast forward to a week later and the whole stock crew has snuck up to the roof at lunch time and somebody passes me a joint and I take a few puffs and comment that this isn't very strong. It's not making me see anything. That's when I found out the other joint must have been laced. I asked my manager but he never confessed to putting anything in it but I believe it was either PCP or embalming fluid due to my knowledge gleaned from my future exploits.

  It's been a long time since then and a lot of drugs have been been my vice. But sweet Mary Jane still hold a special place in my heart.